They drain you. – You feel psychologically and emotionally depleted after spending time with them, instead of uplifted.
They are unsupportive. – You’re afraid to tell them about new, important aspects of your life because they’ve been unsupportive or downright rude about your ideas in the past.
They are up to no good. – They regularly partake in activities that are morally unjust.
Their values and interests are opposite to your own. – Dissimilar value systems often mix like oil and water. This doesn’t necessarily mean the other person is wrong, it just means they aren’t right for you.
They are unreliable. – They always break their promises.
They only contact you when they need something. – Otherwise you never hear from them.
They aren’t meeting you halfway. – If you are always the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with them, but they never return the favor and attempt to go out of her way for you, there’s a problem.
They are jealous of you. – Jealousy is: “I want what you have and I want to take it away from you.”
They have zero ambition. – Beware; a lack of ambition can be contagious. As the saying goes, “You can’t soar like an eagle when you hang out with turkeys.”
They constantly drive you to moments of insanity. – You catch yourself daydreaming about how good it would feel to throw a banana cream pie in their face.
If you still want to keep this person in your life, just to a lesser degree:Stop responding to fake crisis calls. Take positive control of negative conversations.Be brutally honest. – Some people really don’t recognize their own toxic tendencies or their inconsiderate behavior.
If you just want to completely end your relationship with the person in question:Stop taking their calls completely. – If you’re stuck seeing them on a regular basis, like a coworker, keep things on a purely professional level. Find a reason to leave and excuse yourself as needed. It’s passive aggressive to expect avoidance to handle the problem, but it’s an important component. You can’t cut ties if you still chat on a regular basis.
Firmly tell them you’ve had enough. – If you’ve decided it’s time to cut a truly toxic influence out of your life, you can let them know honestly (without being cruel). “I just can’t be friends with you right now” isn’t fun to hear, but it has the benefit of putting everybody on the same page.
Make new friends worth having. – Seriously! Give your time to friends you connect with and enjoy. The long shadows of toxic friends shrink considerably when you’ve got better things to do with your time than worry about their negativity.
Finally, Be a Good Friend
It doesn’t help to cut toxic friends out of your life if you’re not ready to foster quality friendships. On occasion, you may find that the toxicity of a friendship drains away when you start being a better friend yourself. Honestly, I’m not trying to preach; this is something I’m working on in my life.
Make that first call, offer a genuine compliment, schedule a fun outing with another person in mind, send that ridiculously funny card for no real reason – there are tons of ways to nurture your friendships. When you’re surrounded by good friends and good intentions, it’s amazing how pettiness and toxicity simply evaporates.